Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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