We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
