I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
