and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
