she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I could fuck to npr.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
