both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize