i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We left the knife in your bed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
