please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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