Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
