i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
