did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
