Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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