Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
