and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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