Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
