I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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