just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
