Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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