he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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