you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
