operation harelip BJ is a go
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
