The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't deserve a penis
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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