Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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