Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
