What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
