Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
