He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
