how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
