what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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