dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
