I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
