ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
