Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
