Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
