he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
