so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize