I just threw up on my dentist
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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