They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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