I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
