She said her name was "party"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
