i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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