Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
