He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
