So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
