i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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