2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
