what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
