It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
