Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you had me at cake vodka
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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