I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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