i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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