well you can't waste a boner
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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