i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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