Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
