its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We had to coat check the pizza.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
