So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
